If you want to be just like these television cops, you might consider a career outside law enforcement.

5. Lt. Jim Dangle of Reno 911

It's hard to imagine anyone thinking Dangle is attractive. Although he claims that he wears those tight shorts for added mobility, it's more likely that Dangle thinks it will help his chances with Jonesy. Even his wife volunteered for a gastric bypass to escape their marriage into a lesbian affair.

4. Sgt. Frank Drebin, Detective Lieutenant, Police Squad!

Hide the expensive glassware, deadpan Drebin's in the house. The bumbling master of discovering the obvious and missing the crucial has the distinction of holding three police ranks at once. Citing the harsh realities of life, Drebin remarks, "You take a big chance getting up in the morning, crossing the street, or sticking your face in a fan."

3. Deputy Sheriff Barney Fife, Andy Griffith Show

There's hardly any crime in Mayberry, and that's a good thing considering Deputy Sheriff Fife's on the job. Jittery Fife can turn a speeding ticket incident into high drama. If you want something blabbed about town, tell it to Fife. It's hard to imagine what Thelma Lou sees in him. Officers across the country today refer to an inept partner as a "fife."

2. Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane, Dukes of Hazzard

Sheriff Coltrane successfully set North-South relations back about a hundred years. Apparently Georgia doesn't believe in high-speed training tracks for its officers. Coltrane has parked his Monaco or Fury cruiser in most of the lakes, rivers, and trees of Hazzard County. The Duke boys can sleep easier knowing Coltrane's on the job.

And the number one worst TV cop of all time:

1. The Entire Cast of Cop Rock

What was producer Steven Bochco smoking, anyway? It's tough to take a crime drama seriously when the cast busts out in song like they've wandered onto the set of Fiddler on the Roof. From day one, the entire bunch of these crime-busting minstrels never had a chance. These cops put the "awful" in the word "lawful." At a production cost averaging nearly $2 million an episode, the studio could have fed a small town of poor people for years.