Forget the double overtime and vacation pay. Here are the real benefits to working as a cop.

1. Free caffeine at most coffee shops -- and discounts on donuts

Glazed, frosted, or raised? At any hour, police officers can roll in on a Code 7 for a nice cup of Joe and a white sack of old fashioned buttermilks...or jelly-filled, custard creams, donut holes, maple bars, chocolate twists, apple fritters, cinnamon rolls, and a galaxy of sprinkles. While they're at it, officers can roll by the uniform shop for an extra-large duty belt with a quick-release buckle.

2. Unlimited parking

No one needs the parking gods when their vehicle comes equipped with a tactical light bar. Police never worry if someone has freeloaded on their favorite space in front of the all-night convenience store. That's what Push Bumpers are for! In parking emergencies, an officer can employ the Jaws of Life to yank an offender out of the vehicle and slap on cuffs while his partner deftly pulls the cruiser into the spot. "The handcuffs only hurt because they're new," officers tell their quarry. "They'll loosen up with use."

3. What traffic code?

Most officers and state troopers won't admit how much pleasure they have while running red lights or making abrupt lefts without using turn signals. When you carry mace, a baton, a Sig Sauer, and shotgun, people naturally yield the right of way. Officers simply love scaring civilians ("What are you looking at, buddy?") by powering the cruiser down a dark cul-de-sac at night--in reverse with all the lights out. Smoking a few tires is a great way to let people know that the police are on the job and not lazing around the diner.

4. Batman-style utility belt

Life imitates art. Police officers are fully accessorized with mag-light holders, belt clips, pen and pencil holders, mobile-phone holders, key straps, and pouches galore. Many 55mm belts come with Velcro inner belts so officers can quickly snap the outside leather in place (having indelicately removed it while downing a bag of powdered donuts). Tactical, yet tactile!

5. Having a mean dog love you

Canine officers form a special bond with their charges. K9 cadets report that dogs are really at their most enjoyable when you hold them at leash's end, just a few inches from a perpetrator's face. Many officers report that it's amazing fun when an illicit substances dog snares a carload of under-aged, pimply teens at the drive-in movies with a trunk of lager. Once the kids are sent home with a warning, there's free beer for everyone!